The Personal Blog of Doctor John H Watson
by Queerasil
Summary: John has a separate/secret personal blog where he publishes all the drafts/personal musings/private things that he and Sherlock go through. Expect lots of canon divergences, case fics, and ACD canon references. Cute, fluff, good for a laugh, but also an interesting character study.


**Premise: John has a separate/secret personal blog where he publishes all the drafts/personal musings/private things that he and Sherlock go through. Expect lots of canon divergences and ACD canon references. Each chapter will cover half a year of John's person blog. This chapter is the first half-year. Please enjoy!**

**...**

1/6/11 Birthday

Sherlock's birthday was today. We celebrated by hunting down a serial arsonist. Sherlock almost got lit on fire. Afterwards, we went out to Angelo's and split a slice of chocolate cake. He told me it was the best birthday he'd ever had. I told him that meant a lot to me, and he said that it shouldn't, because all his previous birthdays had been absolutely dreadful.

We still need to work on the whole 'compliment' thing.

…

1/19/11 The Golden Pez Dispenser

Sherlock almost got beaten to death with a golden pez dispenser by an old man wearing a lacy pink corset.

Sadly, that's all I can reveal, due to the Official Secrets Act.

Just savor that mental image in your mind.

Your welcome.

…

1/25/11 I'm now scared of umbrellas

Watched Mycroft kill someone with an umbrella today. I must say, I'm impressed.

…

2/02/11 Bees?

I opened the kettle this morning to find it was filled with bees. Yeah, bees. This was Sherlock's explanation:

"John, I'm attempting to create a self-sustaining honey factory."

The bees have now been moved to Sherlock's room. The honey they make actually tastes pretty good. We're calling the bees collectively "Herbert". Don't ask why. Drop by Baker Street if you want a jar. (Warning: Honey may or may not contain stingers.)

_BTW, the honey is called 221Bee._

…

2/16/11 The Musk Ox Mating Ritual

I don't even know where to begin.

"Whose was it? His who is gone. Who shall have it? He who will come. (What was the month? The sixth from the first.) Where was the sun? Over the oak. Where was the shadow? Under the elm. How was it stopped? North by ten and by ten, east by five and by five, south by two and by two, west by one and by one, and so under. What shall we give for it? All that is ours. Why should we give it? For the sake of the trust."

I almost got murdered over that.

The case ended with Sherlock and I being chased by a musk ox through midtown.

I don't even know anymore.

…

2/23/11 Good thing the rent's cheap

Sherlock lit my bed sheet on fire today. It was an 'accident'. I instantly forgave him. No bloody idea what I was thinking.

…

3/2/11 Found a toe in my ice cream…

Is it too late to go back to Afghanistan?

…

3/15/11 (Untitled)

You know when someone does something really annoying and you want to punch them in the face but you can't because they're just so cute.

That's how I feel every damned day.

… I'm not going to publish this.

…

3/29/11 The Blue Circle

Got kidnapped again today. Not even surprised anymore. Do wish they hadn't dumped me unceremoniously in Hampstead Heath without any cab fare, though. Good thing Sherlock put Mrs. Hudson in danger by having her follow and rescue me. I don't think I'll ever get the image of Mrs. Hudson beating someone over the head with a cane out of my head. Go, Mrs. H!

…

4/09/11 Saint John Watson

He stole a dead man's cigarettes today. Not as evidence – to smoke. Worst of all, he did it in front of the dead man's widow.

Considering going back to Graduate School to get my PHD in Holmes wrangling.

…

4/30/11 "It's Not a Cardboard Box, John. It's a Home."

Sherlock disappeared for three days. Turns out he was doing some 'undercover' work which involved him pretending to be homeless and sleeping in a cardboard box for three-days. Weirdest part is, he brought the box back to Baker Street with him…

…

5/7/11 Should I Be Concerned?

Should I be concerned that Sherlock has started watching me in my sleep? I told Molly, and she said it was an adorable, but I think it's a little creepy.

Update: He says it's "for a case". _Sure it is_.

Double Update: It actually was for a case. I mockingly told him I was offended, so he said, "If it's any consolation, you look beautiful while you sleep."

…

5/23/11 The Three Gables: Anne of Green, Clark, and Dan

Went to a costume party today dressed as marshmallow. Well, I wasn't really dressed as a marshmallow. I was dressed as I usually do, wearing my tan sweater, but I needed a cover, so Sherlock kept telling people I was dressed as a marshmallow. In retaliation, I kept telling people Sherlock was emo.

Anyway, we were investigating the murder of this opera singer, and the only clue left was a text from the victim's phone that read "Gable". We followed the clues to a costume party that the victim was supposed to be attending, only to find there were three people dressed up as Gables there: Anne of Green Gables, Clark Gable, and Dan Gable.

Turns out none of them did it. A 'gable' is actually a triangular portion of a roof. So naturally, Sherlock and I went up on the opera roof in the middle of night. (Sherlock really hated being on the roof. I think he might be afraid of heights, but he won't admit it.) We check the gable and, surprise surprise, that's where the murder weapon was stashed!

…

6/01/11 DRUNKK

I AM DRUNKA ND IT FEEELS GOOD

WHO NEEDS BOUNDRIES AND GRAMMER WHEN YOU HAVE TEQUILA

OMG I NEED TO LIE DOEWN

I CAN TYPE SO FAST I FEELE LIKE I HAVE SO MUCH POWER

ITS LIKE MY FINGERS ARE IN WARP DRIVE

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY

WEEEEEEEEEEE


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